she was so not down for the gang bang
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
