all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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