I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
