Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
