my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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