I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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