She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
