im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
