gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
