wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
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