My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize