Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
