i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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