the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
