dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
