I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
she smelled like a LAN party
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
well, you know. whores of a feather.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
