watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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