I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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