I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
