plz talk dirty to me
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
