At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
