I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I wish there were birth control emojis
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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