RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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