Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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