Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
