I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
