found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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