Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
