they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
What a dumb baby whore.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
