I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
she pinky promised me she was 18
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
