she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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