Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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