Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Your cock deserves a montage
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
