i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
