I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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