Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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