dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
