when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
The struggles of a small town man whore
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
