I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
