i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
