That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Randomize
