what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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