Already got asked if we're dating
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
its not stalking. its research.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
