I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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