tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
