I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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