my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
