Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
