i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
