Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
