After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
