She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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