you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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