I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
